There are moments in motherhood that catch you completely by surprise – the small, seismic shifts that signal your children are not just growing, but genuinely evolving into their own people, complete with their own personalities, strong opinions, and, in my case, a surprising and highly discerning sense of style.
For me, one of those moments came recently in a French Connection shop, tucked in a quiet corner of the Cotswold designer outlet in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire. It was the moment my ten-year-old declared herself my personal stylist.
She is only ten, but already something of a natural fashionista. It’s not about following trends; it’s an innate instinct for colour, shape, and what works. Increasingly, she applies that instinct not just to her own wardrobe, but to mine. On our shopping trips, she’ll pull things off the rails, hold them up against me, and pronounce swift, uncompromising judgment. “You could team this with that… hmm, not your colour, Mummy. Too much beige.” It is humbling, heart-warming, and just a little bit savage all at once, delivered with the absolute, unshakeable conviction only a child can possess.
The Generational Shift: Practicality vs. Play
It makes me reflect on how different her experience is from my own. When I was her age, shopping wasn’t a recreational or expressive act. I didn’t really “do” clothes shopping with my parents. Clothes simply appeared in my wardrobe – practical, durable, and seasonally appropriate – and I wore them, no questions asked.
Even into my teenage years, I rarely got much say. Most of what I wore were well-meaning hand-me-downs from older cousins. Looking back, my style choices were less about self-expression and more about inherited necessity. Luckily, my cousins had decent taste, but the process was certainly not about me choosing, experimenting, or discovering my own aesthetic identity.
That contrast is what makes shopping with my daughter feel so utterly different, and so wonderfully special. She’s growing up with fashion as something playful, creative, and intrinsically expressive. She’s learning what she likes, what flatters her, and how to use clothes to tell a story – all by the age of ten. This new generation doesn’t wait until adulthood to claim their space; they claim their style, their voice, and their opinions early on.
Part of me wonders how she’ll look back on these trips. Will she remember the endless giggle fits in the changing rooms, the whispered style tips, the ruthless “not your colour” verdicts, or the inevitable bribery stops for hot chocolate and gingerbread men? I sincerely hope so. Because what we’re doing isn’t just buying clothes; we’re establishing a language of connection, rooted in observation and shared taste.
The Cardigan Moment: When Twinning Becomes Bonding
It was in that French Connection shop where the moment truly crystallised. I spotted it instantly: a beautiful, textured, Chanel-style cardigan jacket. It was the perfect blend of classic structure and modern ease. I knew immediately it was coming home with me.
What I didn’t anticipate was her reaction.
“Oh, Mummy,” she breathed, touching the boucle fabric. “It’s beautiful. We can be matching! We can be twinning. How cute.”
Well, I melted into a puddle on the polished floor. I nearly cried, overwhelmed by the sweetness and the genuine desire for shared identity. Not just at the thought of us twinning, but also at the simultaneous, very adult calculation of the bank balance hit for two premium cardigans. The decision was instantaneous: one for her, one for me. Matching.
There’s a funny trend around mothers and daughters twinning outfits – something I always thought was a novelty act reserved for social media. Yet here I was, walking out with matching cardigans with my daughter and secretly, profoundly loving it. It wasn’t about looking alike – she pulls everything off with an ease I’m still trying to acquire – but because she chose to step into my world. It felt like a deliberate act of solidarity and affection, fashion as a shared embrace.
The Deeper Lesson: Confidence and Self-Acceptance
Of course, shopping with her isn’t just about the clothes or the bonding. It’s about witnessing her quiet, powerful confidence. She may be ruthless in her editing of my wardrobe, but she’s also a brilliant companion – stylish, opinionated, and so much fun.
And watching her shop offers a profound lesson. She doesn’t agonise over clothes the way so many of us learned to do as adult women. She doesn’t pick herself apart in the mirror. She tries things on, decides what she likes, and moves on. There is a lightness and a freedom in that approach. She is dressing for joy, not for correction.
Seeing her effortlessly embody that self-acceptance is the real style lesson she’s teaching me. It reminds me that style isn’t about perfection; it’s about having the confidence to wear what makes you feel good. If a ten-year-old can do it, why can’t the rest of us?
The Other Side of the Wardrobe: Waterproofs and Waders
My son, on the other hand, keeps me grounded firmly in reality. At thirteen, he’s still fully immersed in the outdoor kit and pet-shop persuasion camp. Think Mountain Warehouse, North Face, Pets at Home, and endless, serious negotiations about why we can’t adopt two rabbits, “because they need a friend and it’s cruel to separate them.”
Shopping with him is less about cardigans and tailoring and more about waterproof ratings, durable gadgets, and how quickly he can drag me into a pet aisle to stare intently at the lizard tanks. While his sister debates the perfect shade of boucle, he’s weighing up the pros and cons of walking boots against a potential rainstorm.
Fashion hasn’t hit him yet, but if he’s anything like his dad, he’ll be a late bloomer – and I’m sure my bank account will feel the impact when that transformation hits. For now, he provides the necessary contrast. He is the reminder that functionality and freedom matter just as much as flair. I love that balance.
The Beautiful Intertwining of Style and Family
What I love most about these shopping moments is how style and family are starting to fundamentally intertwine. Clothes aren’t just about what I wear anymore; they’ve become a vehicle for connection.
A cardigan becomes more than a cardigan when it’s chosen together, worn together, and remembered as part of a shared laugh over hot chocolate. It holds the memory of that moment of twinning, that moment of shared affection.
This is the bigger lesson I didn’t see coming. Growing up, style was something handed to me, an external constraint. Now, I’m learning to see it as shared – something passed between me and my children, shaped by their personalities, their confidence, and yes, even their cheeky, necessary commentary in the changing rooms.
As mums, we often view ourselves as the primary educators – the ones teaching our children about the world. But sometimes, they are the ones showing us how to see things differently, how to reclaim a little joy, and how to embrace confidence. In my case, they are showing me how to see style through fresh, honest eyes.
And perhaps that is the most stylish thing of all: letting fashion be about joy, bonding, and the beautiful memories stitched into every single piece.
Style Takeaway for Mums: Don’t underestimate the fashion wisdom of the younger generation. They often spot what works (and what doesn’t) quicker than we do because they haven’t yet learned the rules we try to break. Sometimes the best, most authentic style advice comes from the back seat in the changing room.
Fancy more style tips, family fun, and occasional wardrobe chaos? Head to my Facebook page and say hi – let’s keep the chat positive and playful!
Take care, stay safe.
Becks Xo
My life and style over 40 