Covid-19, I let my guard down…

Photo by CDC on Pexels.com

I find myself in a bit of a quandry. I took my eyes of the ball so to speak and now I feel a little bit of a hypocrite. I became complacent, a little too secure and boom it hits you.

Cut to the chase… there is a possible case of Covid-19 nearby.

It’s really strange as I was having a socially distanced conversation with my neighbour about Coronavirus and this happens. Very unnerving.

Why is this an issue?

It’s a worry for me as I’m classed as high risk and I thought I’d been so careful when out shopping. Masks and hand gel abound! But I wasn’t so careful at home. I thought I was, I thought I was sticking to the social distancing guidelines. But it seems as though I let my guard slip. Easing of restrictions was a relief in a way. I could allow the kids a little more freedom and allow them to play outside. But it seems so did all the other parents on the estate. Looking at the guidelines again it says that there shouldn’t be more than 6 in a group and only from two households.

There have been quite a few children playing in our road – it’s the safest on the estate and the smoothest so roller blades are out in force. It’s like an army out there. I have allowed my kids to play out and hadn’t considered the risk so much. Like I said I let my guard down. But, I feel rotten about it all because for the first time in an age my kids are seeing their friends and being children, doing kid things and finally enjoying themselves. No homeschooling to worry about, no being cooped up inside and only going out into the garden for small amounts of time. Actually being able to have a little freedom to grow, laugh and play.

I find out from a friend that someone is quarantining with potential symptoms. Why does this concern me? It’s a little more closer to home than is comfortable for me. I know I should have been more vigilant, but you just don’t think it will happen to ‘us’ or be near us in our sleepy little village.

I have been more on the ball since I found out about the potential case and I know it’s almost a bit like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted but I feel I need to get back on the ball especially as the kids will be going back to school and I may have potential supply work. Although I’m still not sure how I feel about going back into secondary schools. It’ll be a bit safer with masks on in public areas where social distancing is harder like corridors and such like, but I can’t see how overcrowded staff rooms will be safe unless staff are going to be staying in their classrooms all day and not having much interaction with other colleagues.

I look at some of the scenes that have been shown about the illegal raves and packed beaches and I can honestly say I’ve been the first to comment how irresponsible those involved have been, and yet I have been the same. Irresponsible. Albeit in a smaller scale. It’s such a shame as the kids have been desperate to get out and play and yet I have no control over anyone else’s kids many of whom don’t live on our street, but they can’t be policed all the time and nor should they. We would be the first to complain about kids being computer game addicts and stuck in front of a screen for hours on end and yet when we do get them to go outside it’s almost a no go and they get moaned at for being kids. Can’t win. Can’t please everyone.

I have reminded my kids to be more socially distanced. Definitely no sharing of toys/bikes etc, and make sure there are no more than 6 in a group. Make sure they don’t go into their friends gardens and houses, and stick to the rules! If there are too many of their friends out playing I’ve said to come in, or go somewhere away from the crowd. I think it’s such a shame they have to play that way but ‘rules is rules’ so they say. I had read the guidelines inside out and thought I knew them. I did. But as I said I let my guard down, and got a little too comfortable and now I need to up my game again. Luckily the family involved were sensible and had a test done and self-isolated, thankfully for them the test came back negative.

So, sorry if your child wants to play with mine, it just might not happen so much at the moment. It’s nothing personal, it’s just the way it has to be.

Have you felt your guard slipping like me? What did you do about it?

Take care, stay safe

Becks

Xo

Why I won’t publish images of my kids on social media

Why I won’t publish images of my kids on social media, or any other medium for that matter. I’m not being miserly or rude. I just don’t want my kids images plastered all over the internet and I don’t want them there before they could even consent to being photographed. Yes, I am concerned about my kids privacy and any digital footprint they have, we all know that once it’s up there, it’s there forever. Social media has made it easier for us to keep in touch, whether you live in the same street or across the world. And I genuinely love seeing your posts, where you share your little ones achievements, I simply chose not to upload every image I have of mine. I’ve never been overly comfortable sharing images of the kids, this could stem from my own inability to be comfortable in front of the camera but the reality is there is a lot more to it than that. I can count on one hand the amount of images I’ve posted and these are mostly the initial baby ones after birth.

I have no idea if they will be disappointed when they’re teenagers and learn they don’t have a billion followers because I didn’t set up an Instagram account for them when they were babies. Sure they do crazy things and make me laugh and yes I’m sure they would be great things to share with my friends and family on social media but I’m still getting to know my kids and their personalities. They’re still little. I’m asked why I don’t share pictures of my kids online now that they’re older. I have a simple answer: We live in a time where information is king and people can learn a lot about you in a very short space of time and I don’t want people knowing where we are 24 hours a day. My kids are still young and I want to respect their privacy. They may not be at an age yet where they fully understand the implications of the internet and if they’re happy with me sharing their life with the world.

Is it so important that we push everything we do to the ‘gram or other social media before our kids are even born? It seems if you don’t you are an outsider or a little weird if you don’t. We are made to think that we would be left out of the popular ‘mum’ culture if we don’t succumb to the pressure. Very early on my hubby requested that we don’t share images of our kids which I wholeheartedly agreed on. As I’m a sharer I was surprised I wasn’t more upset with this choice but I can see the positives to it, will my kids be upset at not having their super cute bath time bubble Mohican hair do shown to the world? Probably not. Ok, so if they do something super amazing then who can I share it with? Simple, I email or send a text to those who really need to see it. They know not to publish it. They respect our choices.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I did feel lonely initially when the kids were born and there were loads of posts of newborns and kids plastered everywhere, but I soon realised that there was another side to this. What of the potential mums, want to be mums but can’t be mums and others who may be struggling to have kids. I didn’t want to add to anyone else’s pain. It can be hard seeing images of bouncing babies and happy families for some. It’s hard enough feeling pressured into striving for perfection but having the additional pressure of happy families is painful. I will admit it was hard not to post images even though deep in my heart I knew it was what we had both agreed to. I felt silly not being able to post but maybe as my kids get older I’ll be able to post nice arty shots which their faces don’t show or are obscured in some way without giving things away.

Just because I don’t post images of my kids doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong that you like to share your kids with the world.

Have I taken photo’s of them looking cute when they were babies at bath time? Yes. Have I taken pictures of them when it was their first day of school? Yes, but I’m not sharing them with the world. If I’m at a birthday party and you take a photo which might happen to include my kids am I going to say don’t post it? No, I probably won’t. But, what I will ask you is that you don’t tag me or my hubby in. I can’t protect my children from everything, it’s not humanly possible, but I will aim to respect their privacy and right to choose. And for that I do not apologise. If when they choose to have social media accounts when they’re old enough then I’ll be more than happy to share their photo’s if they wish until then I’m keeping it private.

Ultimately its about my kids, and me not posting endless images of them isn’t a habit I’ve developed so I’ll not have to wean myself off when I become soooo embarrassing as their mum when they’re older! 🤣🤣🤣

Here are some of the not so nice reasons why I don’t share images of my kids on social media

Children have a sense of who they are as an individual and of others perception of them at around about the age of 5 and sharing personal content on social media can make children feel like they don’t have ownership over their own bodies or own values. Children often don’t have the opportunity to disagree with their parents posting bath-time and other sensitive photos on social media, especially before they are posted.

As a parent I am concerned about how others may react to some of the images I may share about my children online. Others may be able to use old photos and stories published about my kids to make fun of, insult them or even bully them as they grow older. If an image is shared and catches on it doesn’t take long to go from an inside family joke to full blown gossip for an entire school. Think I’m overreacting? Just look at some of the nasty comments people put on kids videos on YouTube. It’s no different. It’s all social media.

I am aware that any image I post of my kids could have a far reaching impact on them further down the line. Who knows how algorithms will work in the future. A potential employer may be able to see something that is personal to my children and it could very well go against them when job hunting or if my children become influencers or have a much more public life then how are their childhood photos going to affect their careers. You never know what may happen and I don’t want to be ‘that person’ who does the one thing that can make or break their careers.

As a teacher, and a teacher of IT in particular one of my areas is internet safety. So I am more than aware of some of the dangers of posting personal images on the internet. Especially social media platforms. I am aware of images posted by other parents turning up on disturbing websites and forums. Some dedicated to child pornography. That little video you posted of your naked child makes the perfect medium for such an outlet.

After doing some research I found that according to an Australian Children’s eSafety Commissioner, one site offered at least 45 million images (source: https://jelliesapp.com/blog/). Around about half of which were photos of children taken from social media accounts. These photos were of everyday family activities, but the worrying thing about it is that they were accompanied by wholly inappropriate comments many of a sexual nature.

We also forget that social media posts can also provide little indicators that can help people identify where a child lives, plays, and goes to school. Posts with information like location tags and landmarks give strangers ability to locate a child and other family members. I can image that this is especially dangerous for families who may be trying to manage custody disputes or escape domestic violence situations.

When my kids are older and more able to make an informed decision about what I share, I’ll ask them what they’re comfortable with and take some precautions when doing so. I already have quite good privacy settings on my personal social media account but I must remember to regularly check them as some updates automatically revert back to public settings. I will choose the photos carefully and watermark the ones I post publicly.

I will involve my kids in deciding what is appropriate to share with others as these conversations can help ward off bad feelings in the future, and lets face it are useful for preparing them for living in a digital age.

To sum it up, here are some tips for being a good ‘sharent’

  • Be mindful of metadata — most digital photos contain information about the time, date and GPS coordinates of where the photo was taken.
  • Don’t add comments to photos that identify locations; for example street address, school name, or even identifying features in front of your home.
  • Only ever share with people who you really know and trust. Please don’t post to all of your friends on social media, be selective and use the privacy settings on your social media platform. Also, be aware that if one of your friends likes your picture, it may also become visible to their friends, and so on.
  • Ask parents before posting and sharing images that include their children; that recent birthday party for example.
  • Don’t share photos and videos that contain personal details, such as full names, personal contact information, or school uniforms that identify location.

At least you don’t have to mute me or scroll on by and lets face it, I’m one less poster of kiddie spam!

But for now, enjoy the time with your little ones. Take as many photos and share or not share. Your choice. Just share carefully if you do.

Take care, stay safe.

Becks

xo

Surprised? I was!

Last week’s confessional was a surprise! I honestly didn’t think I’d want to put all of that down yet, but I have said in my opening gambit on the home page that I would be honest and that this is a journey, so that’s exactly what it needs to be. Maybe my experience and thoughts have helped someone else reading my posts out there somewhere. Maybe you experienced similar and needed a little bit of a guiding hand to give you the oomph to kick yourself up the bum and challenge your insecurities. Baby steps, please. Don’t do everything at once. You’ll become overwhelmed and shrink back into yourself.

I touched on a couple of things last week – being verbally bullied and my loss of identity. Both are semi-intertwined with each other in a way, as I still had residual confidence issues from being bullied. Which as we know will impact on how we feel about ourselves for years to come. I do feel that although I know the reasons behind my confidence hit, I may never be a really confident person. There will always be a nagging doubt behind the things I do or say. I do know though, that I can ‘fake’ it. This is a strong tool for some who are able to do it. If you can fake it you inevitably end up changing your mood, which can then begin to change your outlook on things.

I’m no scientist, and what works for me may not and will not work for everyone, but if it helps just one person then that’s enough in my book. I rarely open up about how I feel deep down, but now I think it’s time to get my big girl pants on as a friend would say and get over it. I sometimes think that by opening up about these things perhaps people may think I’m trying to say I’m depressed. I’m not. I have low days and struggle just like many others but my feelings on those occasions are not a complex minefield but rather more simplistic. I’ve not had enough sleep, or the kids are pushing every button possible or simply that I’m just not in the right frame of mind. I applaud those that have been able to face up to depression. In my eyes it takes a huge amount of inner strength for someone to say “I feel crap, today is not a good day and I can’t do this anymore. I need help”. Depression is a complex and difficult illness to understand. I implore anyone reading this who feel they may have it, or may be on the cusp of depression, please talk to someone. Your best mate, the coffee shop barista, stranger on the station anyone. But just tell someone. It might help. If your mate’s been texting you asking if you’re OK and you’ve completely ignored them. Text them back. They are looking out for you, and they care. It’s not about ‘manning up!’, so forget about all the male bravado, it’s about getting help and getting YOU back.

Where do I go from here?

My challenge to myself is to get myself back on track to becoming ‘me’ again. I will never be the ‘old me’. Those days are gone. We change a little, or a lot, as we age. Age makes us more understanding of what we really need and what we want and also, what we can achieve. Growing older has given me an edge, where I can be slightly more demanding of others and particularly of myself. I joke about turning 60 and dying my hair purple and getting a tattoo, buying a motorbike and sticking two fingers up to the world 😉. Actually, I might just dye my hair purple and get a tattoo anyway!

I absolutely love this quote by Roald Dahl. It’s from The Twits if you aren’t sure. I really feel it sums up a lot of how I feel I want to feel. Good thoughts make you glow. They show in your face. The slight crook of a smile appearing, the glint in the eye. It all shows you know. I look better when I feel better. Its simple psychology really. We lift our head, stand straighter and become more of a presence. When we feel unhappy the opposite happens, we look hunched over, we scowl and look as unhappy as we feel. 

What changed my viewpoint?

I didn’t have many mirrors in my old house as I just couldn’t stand looking at myself in them. I had such a negative view of myself, every time I did look in the mirror I used to pick out the flaws I could see. I was ugly, had a wonky nose, square jawline, fat face… the list just went on and on. I just couldn’t see anything nice about myself. I had a change of view when I met up with some friends I hadn’t seen for ages, some years in fact, and the one sweet friend of whom I’d always thought was the most confident admitted she’d always been envious of my hair. Then another said she felt annoyance at me as she was fed up of wearing false lashes and mine were long and full and I ‘just didn’t have to go through all the hassle everyday’. I felt better about myself for a moment or two, and then when I got home I actually looked in the mirror and thought to myself they had a point. I began to like my hair. It’s full of body and is healthy. I noticed that I didn’t look in the mirror and feel so negative. I was beginning to like myself again. A little bit more each day. There are still days where a negative gnome sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear I’m ugly or some other flaw that I have but no so much anymore. Devils and angels are ‘so last year dahling’ as Patsy would say! Like I said it’s baby steps. It’s not being vain either, it’s about learning to have personal positivity, which includes body and mind.

Colour plays a big part in the impression we give, both to others and to ourselves. If I’m feeling happy then I tend to wear brighter colours and make an effort. When I feel miserable and stressed I wear darker more neutral colours without adding accessories. The days where I just feel low I tend not to look at what I’m choosing to wear, I just grab anything and rarely does it go with anything nor is it flattering and if I’m honest it probably isn’t allowing me to blend in with the background despite me wanting to do just that. Because it’s so badly thrown together it makes me stand out, perhaps giving others an opportunity to think ‘she doesn’t care’, or ‘what does she think she looks like’ or something to that effect. And, when I’m at that point, the days where I’m so totally not in the zone, I actually don’t care nor do I wonder what I look like so their thoughts are futile. I’m just not thinking about me.

I recently grabbed one of my old Trinny and Susanna books from the shelf when I was having a sort out and started reading it. I forget which one, it might have been ‘what your clothes say about you’ maybe. But, anyway, I laughed at the picture of a stressed, harassed mum carrying plastic carrier bags and dressed in beige (really not my colour!) with a child pulling her in one direction when she was trying to go in another, it was a set up shot of Trinny role playing but it made me think that I have been that mum on more than one occasion. A Tesco bag in one hand despite owning some fabulous family sized totes, along with kids coats, bottles and school paraphernalia in the other. Trying to coax the kids down from the climbing frame because ‘we really need to get home’… read ‘mummy just wants to go home and get tea ready, and have a sit down as she’s been busy all day cleaning up your mess again!’.

On the opposite page it showed a more serene, organised Trinny with same child pulling on her hand, but looking much more as though she could deal with it. It was all down to staging the perfect life, yes, I get that. But it was also about looking the part too. Well cut jeans, sensible but trendy shoes, jacket just in case you got caught in the rain and nice top underneath, oh.. and a good sized bag for all the kid bits! Although I’ll probably always be a little bit late in dropping the kids off, and always be slightly disorganised and forget their coat or water bottle or something but I can at least try to look the part. So my first challenge is come September, I will aim to get my head in the zone and be a little more put together for the school run. That way when some supply work does come along I’ll have a go to outfit readily available to grab and go.

Baby steps…

But, I’m going to start small. A little bit at a time. Beginning here, my aim for the next two weeks is to make sure I put mascara on. Everyday, without hesitation. I will make it a habit. Isn’t it a habit after fifteen days? I’m sure I read that somewhere. Anyway, small things to start my positive image habits off. I don’t see much point in trying to form a habit of wearing foundation or even my usual BB cream as it usually comes off on the masks we have to wear out. Although it’s swings and roundabouts at the moment as I don’t really like going out much and I like the freedom of having just sun cream on my face. Perhaps that little habit might have to wait a little.

I think I also need to look at forming an exercise habit as currently it’s a bit hit and miss. OK, I admit more miss than hit! I don’t like exercising and rarely enjoy it when I do it so I need to work up to doing this habit. gently does it. Twenty minutes a day to start off with and then work up to thirty after a couple of weeks maybe? I think I’m going to need to do a reward chart just like we use with kids! I really hate exercising! I’ll keep you updated on this one as I’m not even sure where to start.

Have you been an exercise star during lock down? Or have you been watching Joe from the sofa with a cuppa every morning during PE with Joe? Me? The latter 😂

I’m going to be honest with you, I lost my way a little…

Part of the idea of starting my little blog was to write about my life and style, or lack of as I have mentioned before. So, I thought I’d do a post looking at the style part. To do this I think this is the time where we delve into a bit of my background to start with and see where we go from there.

I’m not huge on being a girly girl. I like getting mucky and grubby, and rarely wear makeup or style my hair. And as for being stylish, well that’s something I’m still trying to figure out! I would love to be one of the school mums that look amazing everyday without looking as though they do. I know contradiction in terms, but what I mean is they look amazing without really having to put much of an effort in to looking good. We all know this isn’t necessarily the case as it often takes a little bit of planning getting stuff organised and ensuring a routine is in place. But these are the mums who seem to effortlessly glide onto the playground with finesse and no stress. They have the perfect outfit on for whatever they may be doing and just seem to have it all. I know that whilst this is happening on the outside, what is going on on the inside may be very different, but she hides it well! What I would like to achieve is something near this but be me. I’m not going to copy someone’s style as that might not be mine but I want to find my ‘style’ for me now and be confident in it. I know my style has changed. A lot. I wonder if I can get away with the boho floaty dresses I once coveted? I wonder if my love for Joules, Seasalt and Boden clothes is my way of being more countryfied? Simply to look good in a pair of well cut jeans and a tee would suffice at this point maybe? Only time will tell as I find my real ‘me’. What I do know is that I’m going to have to up my game a notch!

When I was younger I didn’t stand out, nor did I particularly want to. I was a bit on the geeky side at school and was never overly confident in my looks. I always shied away from the camera and if someone did manage to catch me on film you would find me hiding at the back in a crowd or have something with which I could semi-hide behind. After growing up a bit and looking back into why I felt like this and still do to some extent as just doing a selfie for me is agony! I realised that this all came from one person in school telling me I was ugly, and that if I didn’t have long hair I’d be mistaken for a boy. Bullying can come in many guises for me it was verbal. I was told I was fat – even though I was far from it and that my clothes just looked like I’d put a bin bag on. This was something that was a constant occurrence in my school days although I hid being bullied from everyone. I pretended nothing was going on and I tried to just blend in. I wanted to be friends with the popular kids as well as everyone else, but I just didn’t have the confidence to go up and say “hi”. Looking back at it now and knowing what I know, a bully is someone who is fundamentally insecure and needs the feeling of power over someone to make themselves feel better. Perhaps the person bullying me was insecure about their own looks and weight and decided I was an easy quiet target. Who really knows, I just hope they now genuinely feel better about themselves and not at someone else’s expense.

It has only been the past few years where I have had to become a stronger person due to a couple of ‘big’ moments, major surgery and a long term relationship change, that made me sit up and think and coupled with my experience of being a teacher which has enabled me to put it all into perspective and gain some of the lost confidence back. I’m what you might call a high functioning introvert. Being a teacher there is an expectation for teachers to be confident individuals with extrovert tendencies, there are in fact studies showing that many are actually mild introverts and do exactly what I do – put on a performance. Every time I step into a classroom and deliver a lesson I put on a show. When I work in industry I am the same everything I do is a performance, delivering training programmes to big business CEO’s and even top ranking civil servants. It all involves me putting on a brave face, a façade you might say and just taking a deep breath. The truth is deep down all I want to do is hide away from the world and blend in. I want to be the unseen.

Why do I do what I do then? I’m good at it, that’s why. I love teaching, imparting my knowledge and skills on to people who may benefit from it. Getting students to engage in whatever I’m delivering and them walk away thinking they learnt something useful. And, I will say it again I’m bloody good at what I do. If it means putting on a brave face and being a showman for a while then its what I must do. I can always shrink into myself afterwards.

Most of the time I come across as being chatty and confident. It’s a ruse. I’m dying inside. I feel I have to chat otherwise it might have an impact on something in the future. What? I don’t know. If you’re a mum collecting your kids and I chat to you, it’s because perhaps yes we could become genuine friends but it may also be that if I don’t my child may not get invited over for play dates and may miss out on social things. It could also be that I need to set a positive example to my children, if they see me being sociable then they will be confident enough to hold conversations with others and not shy away. I want what most parents would want for their kids, I would love for them to be happy and confident and be liked. I would love for them to be popular kids in school but for some this is too much and for my kids? I know they’ll have friends, I would just like those friends to be true friends to them. I don’t want them to go through what I went through.

I picked up a book called ‘Bigmouths, bullies and so called friends’ by J Alexander, initially for my son who has been bullied and still gets called names by one particular boy at school. He was a little too young for it when I first bought it but now I may encourage him to read it as I found it to be really good at identifying bullies and why they do what they do. I like the book as it puts it in kid speak and although was written a few years ago its still relevant. As daft as it may sound it really put a lot of how I felt and still feel into perspective.

There are many ways age has helped me. I don’t suffer fools gladly and will not take $#!% from anyone these days. I say things how I see them but I try not to do it in a manner that will cause upset. I prefer constructive criticism whether it’s me receiving or giving it, I can’t abide narcissism or arrogance. I try to follow the motto ‘if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all’. It’s not about being a snowflake, it’s being polite and considerate something that we seem to be lacking in this day and age. I don’t always get it right, but at least I try.

I’m beginning to feel happier about myself these days. I had a huge slump in confidence when I had my first child and the second one came along and my feelings still hadn’t changed. I often feel that I’m not me anymore. I seem to have lost my identity. I’m not Becks anymore, I’m just “Muuuummmmm”. Nobody of any interest, just someone who’s there to make sure kids are fed, watered and have clean clothes every day. I’m still after the holy grail of mums – going for a wee in peace! Although its not so much these days as the oldest is now eight and doesn’t follow me everywhere unlike my five year old who seems to be my shadow. I was a bit overweight before I had kids but after having them I put on even more weight which I convinced myself I could lose and didn’t, so now I have a ‘mothers apron’ belly and a backside you could park a motorcycle in, let alone a bicycle, which is the bane of my life! I did lose a stone and a half a year or so ago but that seems to have gone back on along with bad eating habits – snacking in the evening before bedtime!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I know that I need to lose weight not just because I would like to look better but I would like to be healthier. I have high blood pressure and scoliosis which are not helped by being overweight. My joints are hurting me all the time and I have no excuse I need to get my head in the right place and make a commitment to making weight loss happen. This isn’t going to be easy as I’m a comfort eater. I’m not one for sweets and chocolates. My nemesis is savoury snacks, especially crisps. Exercise is another key factor I need to start doing more of. I huff and puff just going up the stairs these days. I know clothes hang better when they are not straining over a huge tummy or ample derriere slim or not. I’m fed up of being tired all the time.

I knew I needed to get out of my slump and thought about my next steps. It’s not easy. Some people have a natural ease to looking good and make it seem so easy. I thought that if I joined an open style club community on Facebook for those over forty it may help to give me some of the old confidence back as most people were there in a similar boat to me. Initially this was quite good but after a while the group got huge and admins didn’t monitor comments as much and trolls started getting on there so I left. I then chatted to a dear friend about it as she had been one of the stylists in the paid club connected to the open community and she invited me to join her private style club. This has been a real eye opener for me. I have been learning lots about style, including how I find my own particular style to suit my personality, colouring and shape. There will be more on this another time I think, perhaps a series at some point (along with an interview or two with stylists). It’s a learning process and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my quest. Yes, some of it is common sense and intuition but there is a sort of science behind it all. And, I like being part of something that cheers me up when I need a little pick me up. I join in the activities when I have time and often just dip in and out of the club when I have a few free moments. It’s not silly in any way, this is my little bit of me time, be it five minutes or half an hour. It makes me feel better about myself and it’s the medicine I need. I’m beginning to care about myself again. I’m beginning to feel there is a new me inside somewhere. I put mascara on occasionally and might look to at least colour co-ordinate an outfit. But, I’ll still have days where I’ll turn up to school wearing my scruffy clothes, no make-up and unkempt hair. Some weeks it will be more often than not. Sometimes I’m just not in the zone but hey, I’ll always chat just don’t be put off by the way I look I’m just having a bad day😉

Perhaps this may be you too? Maybe you’ve experienced similar feelings and don’t quite know where to go from here. There’s a part two to this coming next post if you’d like to find out a bit more. Feel free to comment.

Take care, stay safe

Becks xo

Throw out the plan!

For someone that likes to talk its surprising that I have suffered a little from writers block this week. It happens to everyone who writes, be it a little or a lot, at some point I’m sure. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon. I’m only a few posts in! I do what every blogger does and have planned and planned content to the extent where if my life went to that plan I’d have enough for a whole year! I have a fairly clear idea about what types of posts I’d like to do, but this week I looked at the plan and just couldn’t find the inspiration to write about any of it.

I had a choice of about ten different things to write about from my plan and not even my top three favourites: the best blogs to follow for style and beauty inspiration, my wanderlust list (top ten places I want to travel to and why) or healthy changes to make this year, made the cut this week!

I decided on a roundup of the things we’ve done this week instead, perhaps there’s something here you may want to do with your family or dare I say it have a bit of grown up fun doing kids things!

The kids have been happier this week as they’ve been able to join their friends playing outside in the close, all socially distanced of course. Our road is the only one that’s had a full resurface and is the smoothest on the estate so we have most of the kids from surrounding streets playing there, it’s also a small close or cul-de-sac so its super safe for them to go crazy on their bikes and scooters. It’s lovely to see them all playing together, some we knew from school, some we didn’t know and kids do what they do best and make friends and have fun. My youngest is only five and there aren’t any girls of her age playing out yet but it’s just so sweet seeing the older girls and boys involving her in their games and helping her up if she falls off her bike or trips over on her roller skates. Its been a joy seeing their smiling faces. Bedtimes have been so much easier too! Worn out children mean they drift off and sleep in – win, win for me!

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

It’s been the second week of the school summer holiday, and we haven’t done as much as we had initially planned. Lock down easing has definitely made things easier but we are still a little cautious of where to go to keep us all safe. The kids like their funky face masks and although I know they don’t have to wear them they asked for one. We did have a trip out to the Cotswold Lavender Farm near Broadway, just before their season had finished which was lucky as we’d originally planned to go to a nature reserve called Greystones on the edge of Bourton-on-the-Water but there were road closures and I got lost. If I’m honest I was ignoring Sat Nav! I’d zoned out and with the kids been noisy in the back I could hardly hear it anyway, especially as I had forgotten my hearing aid – not a bad thing sometimes 😊.

Having suffered being stung by a wasp on the back of the arm whilst putting the washing out I was left with an ever increasing red hot rash spreading brilliantly down my arm I decided against doing too much driving for a couple of days as I had that horrible heavy feeling in my arm and it wasn’t from covid calories this time! A week on and I still have a hot itchy rash but it’s not as sore as it was thankfully.

Hubby had a day off Monday and now he has his fishing (or is it angling?) licence he went to some local fishing lakes and we met him there in the afternoon with a picnic. The kids had a go at fishing but were disappointed they didn’t catch anything. I’m beginning to wonder if hubby managed to catch as many as he said he had. But, that said, he’s a lot quieter than the kids and I’m sure their running around scared the fish away. Even the duck army came over chastising us as they quacked and flapped across the water! The kids had a great time and have asked to go again. I’m wondering how long it’ll be before I become a fishing widow? I suppose it could be worse, it could be golf! 😉

Tuesday we decided to pop out to the local garden centre which has a huge pond with equally huge fish in it which always makes for a good trip out. My two are happy with the simple things in life. We had some food there looking out over the big pond which would have been even better had the weather been sunnier, but it was lovely all the same. We even had discount on our food as I hadn’t realised restaurant was participating in the UK Government ‘eat out scheme’. Nice when your bill comes to half as much as expected. Having had the bonus of discounted food I let the kids run riot on the reduced plant section and spent a further £30 on a boot load of pretty plants for the kids part of the garden. I love a bargain me! They badgered me to let them plant them all when we got home to which I almost ran to get the trowels out of the shed for them to get started. I had visions of getting a coffee break with my feet up. Fat chance! But it was lovely seeing their excitement at getting more colour in their little patch. They even planted some broccoli and cauliflower plants so who knows what we may get.

Most of the things we have been looking at doing over the summer holiday involve being outside as much as we can as I just feel a bit more comfortable about it, I’m just doing what some mums do and being cautious trying to keep my family safe. The kids have both been given a summer challenge pack from school and there’s plenty in there to do. I also have a freebie book from Sainsbury’s I managed to pick up a few years ago now and these have some fab things to do in them so I think we’ll look through it again and pick an activity to do. I like the Sainsbury’s book as it has age appropriate activities for kids (and for the whole family).

Here’s some of my favourite things to do from the book:

1. The one that always falls top of my list is den building. It can be done indoors or out. Soggy days aren’t going to stop us having fun!

2. Creating a scary zoo out of old tights, socks and fabric is always fun – if you don’t mind the mess. But isn’t that what messy play is about?! Just watch they don’t pinch your wooden spoons to make bats with!

3. Go pond dipping. Grab a net and explore. Just make sure they don’t fall in. Although my two would find it hilarious if they did. We have a small pond in the garden and my two are always poking around in it, I feel for the fish they see wiggly fingers and think its food!

4. Gisbee, where golf meets frisbee. Go to an outdoor space such as a park or wood and set yourself a course (e.g. trees as target points) and the aim of the game is to do the course in the least amount of gisbee shots as possible.

5. Make your own instruments and hold a concert for the family. Uses up the recycling!

6. Create your own wacky races. You could have the one trouser leg race (a bit like a sack race but using a pair of your trousers, but beware skinny fit as that makes it a little tricky!). Then there’s the  cartwheel continuum, longest head/handstand, 20m roly-poly, tug-of-towel, water bomb catch, flapping balloon race, crab scuttle race and a fancy dress race.

7. Build a nature pond. You can go as big or small as you can fit with this one. A simple washing up bowl will do as long as you have a few large stones to one end so that hedgehogs and other animals can escape if they fall in. Pop in in a water loving plant and you’ve got a wildlife pond. Just wait for the frogs they’ll find it.

8. Have a picnic but with a twist. Theme it. Do fancy dress, whatever you choose, you could even have a grown up Downton Abbey style one if you want! Your picnic your choice.

I know there are so many other things to do, but those are just a few we had on our list of summer fun. There’s no shortage of places to go and things to see in the UK, so many beautiful unspoilt places, just make sure you check where ever you choose to go is open to save yourself a wasted journey. Remember, we are still easing out of lock down and not everywhere is fully open yet.

Where ever you go, whatever you choose to do, stay safe and enjoy it.

Becks

xo