Okay, let’s talk about the thing nobody really brings up at the school gates or during the PTA meetings. Sex and intimacy in menopause. Yep, it’s a topic wrapped in whispers, awkward silences, and a lot of googling at 2 a.m. But trust me, it’s part of the journey, and it’s normal to feel confused, frustrated, or downright curious.
What Changes?
Menopause often brings a bunch of shifts to your sex life. Some expected, some “wait, what just happened?” moments. The big players here are hormonal changes. As estrogen and testosterone levels dip, you might notice:
- Vaginal dryness (cue sudden ouch moments)
- Reduced libido (the “meh” where once there was “heck yes!”)
- Changes in sensation (less sensitive, sometimes more sensitive – confusing, right?)
- More frequent UTIs or discomfort
- Mood swings that make you want to either cuddle or hide under the duvet
If this sounds like a bit of a hormonal rollercoaster, that is because it is. Your body’s rewriting the rules, and your love life might need a little reboot.
But Don’t Panic – Solutions Are Here!
First off, lubrication is your new best friend. You don’t have to suffer in silence or skip intimacy because things feel dry or uncomfortable. There are all kinds of lubricants and moisturisers out there, from silky water-based gels to longer-lasting silicone options. Pro tip: keep some handy, and don’t be shy about bringing it up with your partner.
Open communication is key. It’s okay to laugh about it, cry about it, or just say, “Hey, this feels weird right now.” Your partner is likely as clueless as you are about the hormonal mayhem going on, so bringing it into the light can be surprisingly freeing.
What About Desire?
Libido during menopause is like a moody cat. Sometimes it shows up, sometimes it hides under the bed. This can be frustrating, but remember it’s not just about hormones. Stress, sleep issues, body image, and life’s busyness all weigh in.
Try to make intimacy about connection, not just sex. Holding hands, cuddling, slow dancing in the kitchen (yes, really), and honest conversations can help keep the spark alive – even when the physical stuff feels a bit wonky.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and Other Treatments
For some, HRT can help restore some hormonal balance and ease symptoms affecting sex and intimacy. There are also vaginal estrogen creams or rings that specifically target dryness and discomfort.
If HRT isn’t your thing, there are alternatives like certain medications or therapies designed to boost libido or reduce pain. Chat to your doctor or a menopause specialist about what’s right for you.
The Power of Self-Care and Self-Love
Let’s be real: menopause can challenge your confidence. Bodies change, moods swing, and suddenly you might not recognise yourself in the mirror. That’s why self-love becomes even more important.
Explore what feels good for you now. Try new things, take the pressure off, and remember that your worth is not defined by your sex drive or performance. Sometimes, a solo date night with a good book, a hot bath, or your favourite podcast counts as intimacy too.
When It Feels Awkward – Laugh It Off
If you’ve ever started something sexy only to be interrupted by a hot flush or a sudden sneeze, you’re not alone. Menopause has a wicked sense of humour.
Remember, laughter helps. Sometimes the best way to navigate this new chapter is to share the funny moments with your partner or friends. It’s bonding and stress-relieving. Plus, you’ll never look at menopause the same way again.
Final Thoughts
Sex and intimacy during menopause might be different, but it doesn’t have to disappear. With a little patience, some good lube, open chats, and maybe a bit of humour, you can find your way to a satisfying, joyful love life no matter what your hormones are up to.
Got a question, a tip, or a funny story about your menopausal love life? Drop a comment over at Facebook – Mylifeandstyleover40. We’re all in this together.
Next Time
We’re putting on our superhero capes and diving into bone and heart health – because strong bones and a happy ticker mean more dance-offs, adventures, and cake-eating marathons ahead. Stay curious, keep laughing, and get ready to give your body some well-deserved love.
Take care, stay safe.
Becks xo
My life and style over 40 