(Swimsuits, Shorts, and Self-Talk)
There’s a particular kind of mental gymnastics that happens when you’re over 40 and it’s hot out.
You want to be comfortable. You want to feel cool. And yet, somewhere between choosing a sleeveless top and considering actual swimwear, your brain short-circuits with decades of layered messages.
Is this flattering?
Will someone judge the cellulite, the softness, the stretch marks?
Should I just keep the cover-up on?
It happens quietly, often without us realising, this internal commentary that has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with years of learned self-surveillance.
And I’m tired of it.
What Summer Used to Feel Like
When I was younger, summer felt like a stage. There was pressure to be “ready”, to have shaved legs and flat abs, to have earned my bikini through green smoothies and squats. I’d scroll through images of women who looked carefree and polished and tell myself I’d feel better in my body if I looked more like that.
But that’s the trick, isn’t it? Confidence was always presented as something you achieved after. After the diet. After the gym. After the miracle cream. After the “transformation.”
What they don’t tell you is that transformation doesn’t come from changing your body; it comes from changing how you speak to it. How you treat it. How you live in it.
And that kind of change doesn’t need another diet plan. It needs kindness.
Swimsuits and Self-Talk
Yes, I wear the swimsuit now. Do I always feel like a sun-kissed goddess? No. But I wear it anyway.
Because I want to swim. I want to sit in the garden with my legs stretched out, not sweating in jeans because I’m scared of my thighs. I want to feel the water on my skin and not let shame keep me out of my own life.
And here’s what I’ve learned:
👉 No one is looking at me as critically as I look at myself.
👉 The people I admire most don’t have “perfect” bodies; they have presence. Joy. Comfort in their skin.
👉 My daughter, my younger self, they’re watching how I treat myself. I want to show them a better way.
Shorts, Arms, and the Myth of ‘Too Old For That’
It’s strange how age seems to come with a silent rulebook: “Don’t wear that.” “Tone it down.” “Be appropriate.” But who wrote these rules, and why do we still follow them?
Shorts are not a reward for flawless thighs. Tank tops are not reserved for tight triceps. Wrinkles, curves, softness, scars, they’re not failures. They’re evidence of a life lived.
And honestly? I’m not interested in shrinking anymore. Not my body, not my personality, not my joy.
I’ve reached a point where comfort trumps critique. Where I will wear what feels good on my body, not what hides it best.
A Real Conversation With Myself
Here’s the kind of conversation I’m having with myself lately:
Me: “You’re not 25 anymore.”
Also Me: “Nope. I’m better.”
Me: “But your stomach isn’t flat.”
Also Me: “Neither is my life. And both are full.”
Me: “People might stare.”
Also Me: “Let them. I’m not the supporting character in someone else’s story.”
Me: “You should hide.”
Also Me: “I’ve spent too many summers hiding. I’m done.”
It’s Not Just About Clothes
This isn’t just about swimsuits and shorts. It’s about unlearning shame. It’s about choosing presence over perfection. It’s about reclaiming space in our own lives.
It’s about asking:
- What if I stopped waiting to feel “ready”?
- What if I wore the swimsuit, not because I love every inch of my body, but because I respect it enough to live in it freely?
- What if I showed up, as I am – imperfect, strong, ageing, real – and said, “This is enough”?
Because honestly, it is enough.
Final Thought
If you’re over 40 and wrestling with summer clothes and self-image, just know: you’re not alone.
It’s okay to have days when you don’t feel great. It’s okay to wish some things were different. But don’t let that stop you from living.
Wear the swimsuit. Put on the shorts. Feel the grass under your feet. Let the sun warm your shoulders. Laugh loudly. Go for the swim.
Let your body live in the summer, not just survive it.
And if you need permission, here it is:
You don’t owe anyone a flat stomach to enjoy the sunshine. You only owe yourself the freedom to be present.
Join me over at Facebook – Mylifeandstyleover40, what are your thoughts?
Take care, stay safe.
Becks xo
My life and style over 40 