I love being middle-aged! Sure, my younger years were filled with questionable fashion choices and even more questionable men, but now? Now, there’s a certain peace that comes with knowing who I am, what I like, and what truly matters.
I waited until my late 30s to have kids – partly because I hadn’t found Mr. Right (my gene-sharing standards were apparently high!). And while being an older mum comes with its own set of challenges – exhaustion being one of them – I do feel like I bring a wiser, more grounded version of myself to parenting.
That’s not to say my kids won’t be horrifically embarrassed by me at the school gates. Whether it’s because I’m slightly frumpy, shouting, “Have a fab day, I love you, you are amazing!” or just existing in their general vicinity, I’m sure they’ll cringe. But isn’t that what parenting is about? No? Just me then.
Mornings: A Masterclass in Chaos
I do make an effort when I dress for the school run – sort of. I’m not ultra-fashionable (never have been, never will be), but I try to avoid looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge. My mornings are a carefully orchestrated chaos, involving getting dressed in near darkness so I don’t wake my still-sleeping husband.
This means scrambling for the outfit I planned the night before, only to decide I hate it, and then desperately trying to assemble something half-decent in the cramped confines of our ensuite. It’s a skill. As is applying makeup in semi-darkness – I’ve got that down to a fine art.
Once I’m dressed (ish), the real military operation begins: getting the kids ready. I miss the energy of my youth – when getting myself out of the door was the only thing I had to worry about – but I also wouldn’t trade the lessons life has taught me.
Life Lessons I’ve Learned (Now That I’m Middle-Aged)
One of the best things about being middle-aged is that I’ve finally figured some things out. Not everything, mind you – I’m still a work in progress – but enough to feel like I have a bit of wisdom to pass on. Here are some of my biggest takeaways:
1. Fashion is about feeling good, not just looking good.
Once upon a time, I wore shoes that mutilated my feet because they looked great. Now? Comfort wins every time. I’ve made peace with the fact that I will never be the effortlessly stylish woman who throws on a chic outfit without thinking. My approach to fashion is more ‘throw on whatever doesn’t need ironing’, but at least I own it.
2. Sleep is sacred.
Gone are the days when I could stay out until 2 a.m., grab three hours of sleep, and still function. Now, if I don’t get a solid seven hours, I may as well declare the next day a write-off. And honestly? I don’t mind. I’d take a good night’s sleep over a night out clubbing any day.
3. Friendships change – and that’s okay.
In my 20s, I thought I’d always be in constant contact with my closest friends. But life happens – kids, work, responsibilities – and suddenly, months can go by without speaking. The beauty of middle-aged friendships, though, is that the best ones don’t need constant upkeep. You can pick up where you left off, no guilt trips required.
4. You will never please everyone, so stop trying.
People-pleasing used to be my default mode, but middle age has blessed me with the wonderful gift of not caring as much. Someone doesn’t like how I dress? Oh well. Think I should be doing things differently as a parent? That’s nice. There’s freedom in realizing that other people’s opinions don’t get to dictate my happiness.
5. Exercise isn’t about looking good – it’s about not falling apart.
Once upon a time, working out was about achieving some kind of aesthetic goal. Now, it’s about functional survival. I don’t run for a six-pack; I don’t run at all, my boobs are already fighting gravity, but I know exercise is good for me so do a little every day so, I can keep up with my kids without feeling like I need an oxygen mask.
6. Middle-aged me is still a work in progress.
Despite all this supposed wisdom, I still have moments where I feel completely unqualified to be an adult. Sometimes I think, Shouldn’t I have it all figured out by now? But maybe that’s the secret – no one ever really does. The best we can do is keep learning, keep laughing, and keep showing up.
The Upsides of Middle Age (Yes, There Are Some!)
A lot of people dread middle age, but honestly? There are some pretty great perks:
✅ You know yourself better. No more pretending to like things just to fit in.
✅ You stop sweating the small stuff. Petty drama and pointless worries don’t hold the same weight anymore.
✅ You can afford better wine. No more £4 bottles of questionable supermarket plonk.
✅ You’re free to be unapologetically yourself. Frumpy school-run mum? Enthusiastic waver at the school gates? That’s me, and I’m okay with it.
Middle age isn’t about fading into the background. It’s about embracing the life you’ve built, wearing what makes you happy, embarrassing your kids at every possible opportunity, and knowing that, even if you don’t feel like a proper grown-up, you’ve come a long way.
So here’s to us – frumpy but trying not to be, tired, slightly creaky and possibly leaky, but still standing. And really, isn’t that something to celebrate?
Take care, stay safe.
Becks Xo
My life and style over 40 